Thursday, February 3, 2011

Day 05: Suicide Day?

Wow, what a cheerful topic, huh? A time I've thought about ending my own life.

First of all, you should know this is ALWAYS my solution when watching horrible post-apocalyptic movies or tv shows. Watching Walking Dead? I kept thinking and saying "Why don't they kill themselves?". I know it gets irritating for poor Mr. Polly but I honestly don't understand why these people in movies always want to stay alive after the whole world is ruined and dead bodies are shambling along trying to eat them up. Horrible! I'd rather be regular dead than dead by zombie bite, hands down.

Just so that's clear.

Anyway, though, in real life I've been suicidal-ish, but not enough to actually have attempted it. From 12-19 or 20, I had an eating disorder (first anorexia then bulimia) and then towards the end of that, when I was starting recovery from the eating disorder, I began self-injuring. I was suicidal through a lot of those years, but apparently not too much so, 'cause I'm still alive now, thank goodness! My low point was probably the time I had to go to the ER because of dehydration, ketosis, and dangerously low potassium levels. At that point, I was vomiting 5+ times a day, and afraid to even keep down water. I was a sick, sick girl. But I got some IV fluids, potassium, and referrals for help.

Antidepressants have been a lifesaver for me. My quality of life has improved beyond words since I found the right one for me, and I've never looked back. For me, they shut off the crazy obsessive thoughts about food so I'm able to actually pay attention to the rest of my life and have a good time. It's awesome!

So, yeah. If you're suicidal because of zombies, my advice might be to go for it, but otherwise, my advice is a definite "go get some crazy pills", which is what I affectionately call my antidepressants. I like Zoloft the best.

Sorry for the downer of a post; blame the looky-loo who wrote the challenge list, and remember that I'm a happy camper now!

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