Here's some useful tips brought to you by people I dealt with today. Many were really good at pissing me off, so let's all learn from their expertise:
1. Management
Got a daycare resident with a very annoying specific fixation on another resident who gets combative and will kick doors for hours when you try to redirect him so he doesn't get punched by the object of his obsession? Move him in! Make sure not to have a plan in place to prevent problems so the whole joint can come to a grinding halt thanks to one person. Bonus points if they don't have orders for Ativan!
2. Coworkers
Keep saying "sorry!" and then grabbing my back and muffin top while I'm crouched down trying to put someone's stiff, heavy legs onto their wheelchair footrests. Not at all annoying go me or dangerous for my fingers. How did you know I was dying to be groped by a woman 15 years my senior at 0715? My favorite morning activity! And yes, please put your sweaty head on me while I parcel out meds and ask "is it time to go home yet?" over and over.
3. Residents
Keep pretending to be nearly deaf so you think you have an excuse to scream at me and everyone else. We'll never figure it out when you magically hear your name said in a normal tone of voice 10 feet away. I love having you grab my arm, drag my poor head near yours, and having you yell "WHAT?!? SAY IT SO I CAN HEAR YA FOR GOD'S SAKE!!" over and over.
Showing posts with label Frustration. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Frustration. Show all posts
Friday, June 17, 2011
Monday, May 30, 2011
Ongoing Grief
A while ago, I wrote about a resident I nicknamed "ScaryLady" on this blog, because she used to beat up all of us caregivers every single night when we tried to put her to bed. I literally had bruises up and down my arms every day for about 2 months straight that were all from her. Now she's on a routine behavioral medication for the first time, and is doing much better. She cooperates with care more, which means she gets more care, rather than just the absolute necessities. I see a different side of her, and it's so nice.
Her daughter is pretty in denial about how far NotScaryAnymoreLady's disease has progressed. I wondered what she thought, hearing about how her Mom needed further medication in order to stop injuring her caregivers. I tried to put myself in her shoes and imagine what that would feel like, but all I got was awkwardness, and I felt self-conscious about my bruises when she was there to visit her Mother. I felt torn between wanting her to know where they came from and being embarrassed that I couldn't somehow stop the behaviors.
Today I felt like I got a bit of a taste of what it's like to have a family member that's acting out like that, and it really has made me sympathetic to my residents' families.
One of my residents is a man I've been taking care of for about 2 years at several of the last places I've worked at. His family moved him into the GreatRep partly because I started working there, and they have been very pleased with the way I've worked with him over time. There was a gap of several months where I didn't see him before he moved in, so my knowledge of him wasn't very up-to-date. I told my coworkers how nice he is, and easy going. And then he moved in, and he wasn't. He refused showers, did a lot of very annoying and rude things, and even sexually harrassed one of my coworkers. I felt terrible, having vouched for him like that, even though everyone reassured me that they understood it's just the disease. Dementia does that to people.
This last week has been hellish. My resident has been escalating in aggression, trying to take advantage sexually of other more impaired residents (like the nonverbal ladies who don't understand what's going on). And when we try to redirect him, he's been increasingly hostile to staff.
This morning at breakfast, I was giving meds to someone who was sitting at the table with that guy, and the guy suddenly looked at me, looked at my chest, and asked me if I was wearing a bra. Ugh. I said "That's not an appropriate question and we aren't going to talk about this subject". He started challenging me "Why not? Are you? I bet you are." I restated that this was NOT OKAY and he needed to stop talking to me that way. And then he asked me if I wanted to fight. And I said no. And then he stood up and told me he was going to punch me. Instinct kicked in and I said authoritatively "No, you are NOT." He sat back down, and I ignored him and finished up my task.
This is a guy that I used to think of as like a second Grandpa. I know his entire extended family, went to his wife's most recent birthday party, and have babysat his great grandkids. And he wanted to punch me in the face, and would likely have sexually assaulted me if circumstances allowed it.
It just hurts so much.
Now there isn't much to be done about him right now. He needs medication changes, and until they can happen, he must have a family member supervising him in our facility at all times. For the safety of our residents and our staff. And me. I think the fact that he did that to me really shocked his family and they're being very helpful.
But I think I got a taste of how awful it is to have your loved one scaring people, scaring you. And it's so bad. I feel so terrible for the family members. Alzheimer's is a really mean disease at times.
Her daughter is pretty in denial about how far NotScaryAnymoreLady's disease has progressed. I wondered what she thought, hearing about how her Mom needed further medication in order to stop injuring her caregivers. I tried to put myself in her shoes and imagine what that would feel like, but all I got was awkwardness, and I felt self-conscious about my bruises when she was there to visit her Mother. I felt torn between wanting her to know where they came from and being embarrassed that I couldn't somehow stop the behaviors.
Today I felt like I got a bit of a taste of what it's like to have a family member that's acting out like that, and it really has made me sympathetic to my residents' families.
One of my residents is a man I've been taking care of for about 2 years at several of the last places I've worked at. His family moved him into the GreatRep partly because I started working there, and they have been very pleased with the way I've worked with him over time. There was a gap of several months where I didn't see him before he moved in, so my knowledge of him wasn't very up-to-date. I told my coworkers how nice he is, and easy going. And then he moved in, and he wasn't. He refused showers, did a lot of very annoying and rude things, and even sexually harrassed one of my coworkers. I felt terrible, having vouched for him like that, even though everyone reassured me that they understood it's just the disease. Dementia does that to people.
This last week has been hellish. My resident has been escalating in aggression, trying to take advantage sexually of other more impaired residents (like the nonverbal ladies who don't understand what's going on). And when we try to redirect him, he's been increasingly hostile to staff.
This morning at breakfast, I was giving meds to someone who was sitting at the table with that guy, and the guy suddenly looked at me, looked at my chest, and asked me if I was wearing a bra. Ugh. I said "That's not an appropriate question and we aren't going to talk about this subject". He started challenging me "Why not? Are you? I bet you are." I restated that this was NOT OKAY and he needed to stop talking to me that way. And then he asked me if I wanted to fight. And I said no. And then he stood up and told me he was going to punch me. Instinct kicked in and I said authoritatively "No, you are NOT." He sat back down, and I ignored him and finished up my task.
This is a guy that I used to think of as like a second Grandpa. I know his entire extended family, went to his wife's most recent birthday party, and have babysat his great grandkids. And he wanted to punch me in the face, and would likely have sexually assaulted me if circumstances allowed it.
It just hurts so much.
Now there isn't much to be done about him right now. He needs medication changes, and until they can happen, he must have a family member supervising him in our facility at all times. For the safety of our residents and our staff. And me. I think the fact that he did that to me really shocked his family and they're being very helpful.
But I think I got a taste of how awful it is to have your loved one scaring people, scaring you. And it's so bad. I feel so terrible for the family members. Alzheimer's is a really mean disease at times.
Friday, October 15, 2010
I Bet on the Wrong Adorable Horse.
Remember how I was trying to decide between the Adorable place and the Well-Known place to work at next? And chose the Adorable one?
Looks like I chose wrong.
Today was the all staff meeting at the Adorable place, where they were introducing the new Executive Director. What I didn't know when I accepted the job is that the new Executive Director has been working there approximately 3 days longer than I have. And what I didn't know until this afternoon is that the nurse manager that hired me is now on a leave of absence after hiring 3 too many noc shift caregivers.
Also in the "things I didn't know" category: this facility has a 20 percent employee retention rate. When you end your shift, there's a decent chance that no one, or only a small portion of, the next shift staff will actually show up to relieve you.
The work itself is fine (if heavy) but not knowing if one can actually leave when you're supposed to? So not fine. I've been leaving anyway, because there's always a med tech on duty and they are charged with more responsibility, which means they cannot leave until they have someone to hand the keys to the med cart off to. I just say I have to go to my other job (whether that's true or not) and leave within 15 minutes of the end of my shift. And then don't answer my phone if they're calling to try to get me to come back.
Ugh.
Lucky for me, I got a call the other day from another dementia facility with a great reputation for an interview. It's also for a full-time, night shift caregiver position. The great reputation place is usually not hiring, but is the first one that people recommended to me when I started my search. I filled out an application, but didn't think much of it because they weren't hiring when I did so. I guess they are now! So I'll call them tomorrow and try to get in there to meet with them. I just really, really want one full time job with benefits that I can stay at long-term. The waitlist for nursing school is a year, and I'm not even on the list yet.
Maybe I should put a personal ad up on Monster:
Nursing Assistant/Caregiver Seeks ...
Assisted Living facility for gainful employment. Management must be willing to provide required training, and understand that gloves are not a luxury. Coworkers can say "ain't" and be trashy, as long as they actually show up for work on time. Facilities where residents have adjustable beds given preference, so this Polly doesn't have to mess up her knees and back trying to change people who sleep on the floor due to falls. If this sounds like you, contact me, Polly! I work hard, show up on time, don't call out sick, and will do extra things for my residents if the basics are already covered.
Alternately, I could stay at the Crapdorable place part time (2 shifts/week) while doing the 3 week CNA course and then reapply at the Skilled Nursing Facility of my dreams. Also a decent option, as long as I can continue to never, never get roped into staying when I'm not supposed to due to the flakiness of others.
Looks like I chose wrong.
Today was the all staff meeting at the Adorable place, where they were introducing the new Executive Director. What I didn't know when I accepted the job is that the new Executive Director has been working there approximately 3 days longer than I have. And what I didn't know until this afternoon is that the nurse manager that hired me is now on a leave of absence after hiring 3 too many noc shift caregivers.
Also in the "things I didn't know" category: this facility has a 20 percent employee retention rate. When you end your shift, there's a decent chance that no one, or only a small portion of, the next shift staff will actually show up to relieve you.
The work itself is fine (if heavy) but not knowing if one can actually leave when you're supposed to? So not fine. I've been leaving anyway, because there's always a med tech on duty and they are charged with more responsibility, which means they cannot leave until they have someone to hand the keys to the med cart off to. I just say I have to go to my other job (whether that's true or not) and leave within 15 minutes of the end of my shift. And then don't answer my phone if they're calling to try to get me to come back.
Ugh.
Lucky for me, I got a call the other day from another dementia facility with a great reputation for an interview. It's also for a full-time, night shift caregiver position. The great reputation place is usually not hiring, but is the first one that people recommended to me when I started my search. I filled out an application, but didn't think much of it because they weren't hiring when I did so. I guess they are now! So I'll call them tomorrow and try to get in there to meet with them. I just really, really want one full time job with benefits that I can stay at long-term. The waitlist for nursing school is a year, and I'm not even on the list yet.
Maybe I should put a personal ad up on Monster:
Nursing Assistant/Caregiver Seeks ...
Assisted Living facility for gainful employment. Management must be willing to provide required training, and understand that gloves are not a luxury. Coworkers can say "ain't" and be trashy, as long as they actually show up for work on time. Facilities where residents have adjustable beds given preference, so this Polly doesn't have to mess up her knees and back trying to change people who sleep on the floor due to falls. If this sounds like you, contact me, Polly! I work hard, show up on time, don't call out sick, and will do extra things for my residents if the basics are already covered.
Alternately, I could stay at the Crapdorable place part time (2 shifts/week) while doing the 3 week CNA course and then reapply at the Skilled Nursing Facility of my dreams. Also a decent option, as long as I can continue to never, never get roped into staying when I'm not supposed to due to the flakiness of others.
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