And on my day off, I talk about ... me!

I've got several friends right now who are online dating, and one who just married a man she met that way. One of these friends is very, very smart and keeps an interesting blog about her process of going from newly-divorced to dating at: Struck by Lightning 2.0. Her recent post about statistics reminded me that she'd previously linked to a really interesting site where you can participate in positive psychology research by taking some inventory questionnaires about your own happiness: Authentic Happiness Tests.

I generally score pretty high on happiness, which probably won't surprise those of you that know me or read this blog regularly. Even though there are some really difficult aspects of my life, on a day-to-day basis I'm very happy. I love Mr. Polly tremendously and have a great time with him, I feel that I'm doing the sort of work I'm meant to do and that I'm taking steps toward being where I want to be (in nursing school), I love the town I live in, and have good friendships. I do have some troubled family relationships at time, worry about Mr. Polly's disease, and am constantly frustrated by our neverending medical debt. But overall I feel that most of that is something we can overcome.

But my positive psychology scores aren't really the stuff I'd put on a dating profile, or anything that I lead with when I meet new people. I just took a Briggs-Myers test again and scored as an ISFJ (Introverted Sensing Feeling Judging) type. Apparently I'm a Guardian Protector type. I don't know if my reserve is actually very obvious to others, but I feel it. I've been at my current facility for 6 months and, although I like a lot of my coworkers, I only have the phone number of one of them, and he's the only one I've considered socializing with outside of work so far. I've gently turned down other invitations because I just don't know if it's worth it to me since nursing homes are often such little drama hotbeds. So I wait a long time to see if I hear someone gossiping or being a jerk before I decide if I want to hang out with them. That's pretty reserved, I know, and sometimes I wish I were less so. But I'm cautious that way.

One of my friends that's online dating has her type on her profile (INFP) so maybe that's a decent way to give someone a shorthand of who you are. I'm partly thinking about this because down the road I foresee some "I want to be a nurse because" essays in my future for scholarships. And no one wants to read "because I want to help people" over and over again. So I could say "because I 'have an extraordinary sense of loyalty and responsibility in [my] makeup, and seem fulfilled in the degree [I] can shield others from the dirt and dangers of the world' but also because I find it funny when old ladies come up and try to hand me a handful of poop and I can look at a stage 4 tunneling wound (and smell it) without vomiting. Give me some money for education!"

That'll go over well, don't you think?

Or "Our premarital counselor told me that even though I seem sweet as can be, I'm secretly made of cast iron."

On second thought, it's a good thing I have a long time to work on these pitches, and it's a really good thing I'm not trying to find a husband online. Although, wealthy gentlemen of the world, if you are reading this right now and thinking "I wish I could marry Polly and pay her way through school then let her divorce me and remarry her own Mister" send me a comment and we'll talk. This applies to well-to-do ladies living in states where gay marriage is legal as well, of course.




Maybe this blog is the best scholarship app/personal ad ever in life. Ha.

Um, what??

First, my favorite thing a resident said to me today:

I was at my cart getting meds out for the dinnertime pass when Wendy sidled up to me and quietly asked "So, have they reserved a rope and a tree for me yet?" I immediately burst out laughing and asked her where that question came from, to which she replied "I don't know, I just thought it up." and laughed as well.

Secondly, this is a note to myself:

Before accepting home care shifts, ASK A FEW QUESTIONS! I agreed to chaperon some dude to his doctor's appt via the local bus system's Dial-a-Lift on Monday. Then I got home and read the plan of care and ...
a) he lives at the CrapDorable place I used to work at briefly! Oh no. I hate that place. And the staff there, if they haven't all turned over by now, know it. So that's awkward.
b) his plan of care makes him sound like a freaking nightmare. Recovering alcoholic, combative toward staff at the crapdorable facility he lives at, multiple divorces ("DO NOT DISCUSS SPOUSES WITH CLIENT") and has threatened to kill his adult child and said child's spouse ("if this comes up, caregiver to redirect"). Oh my lord, this is going to be the longest few hours of my life.
c) he's wheelchair bound (hence the dial-a-lift) and apparently continent but is a 2 person transfer. So should he get the urge to go to the bathroom during the 4 or so hours I have him, I have to tell him ... what? "I hope you just have to pee, here's a big gulp cup you can use for a urinal." "Go ahead! All wheelchairs are destined to be pooped in anyway." "Let's see if I can get the nice receptionist to help me transfer you." Plus, given the quality of care at the crapdorable facility, chances that he'll be recently toileted and ready to go when I arrive are slim to none.

So, yeah. Polly, in the future, ask questions, you dumbass!

but yeah, I'm too broke right now to cancel this shift, so I'll just be crossing my fingers and counting my money in my head while I'm doing this terrible job

Ha HA! Triumph!

I'm so on top of this whole going-back-to-school thing, I'm giving my nightmares bad dreams; no more anxiety dreams here! I'm kicking ass, taking names, and chewing bubblegum all at the same time.

This whole being poor thing? Not so bad when it comes to financial aid. I am getting a FULL TUITION WAIVER at the community college for the next 3 quarters! Plus $250 for books each quarter. Yessssss!

This means that I'm planning to take 10 credits per quarter and haven't figured out how much work that means I'll do. If I can afford to cut back to working 3 10-hour shifts, I'll do that. If not, I'm gonna have to keep working full time, since my awesome financial aid does nothing to help me pay rent or get food to eat.

Nonetheless, I'm very, very excited. It's looking like I have about a year's worth of prereqs to do before I can apply to the Accelerated BSN program at my state's university. So I'm going to need to get myself some very good grades in chemistry, anatomy and physiology, and the like.

I can't wait to get back to school. I frickin' love science. And science classes. I'm so excited!

Money Money Honey

You know what sucks? The pay. I make less than a dollar above minimum wage. Let's let that sink in. I'm someone who spends 8 hours a day feeding, toileting, grooming, talking with, dressing, and ambulating people with dementia. I notice changes in condition and report them to my charge nurse. I make sure their oxygen is on and at the correct flow setting. I chat with their family members, and update them on how their loved one is doing.

Most of my coworkers are on food stamps or some other form of public assistance. All of the ones who are single parents are.

The average cost per resident at an Assisted Living facility in my state is a lot of money per month. Remember, I'm in the Pacific Northwest:



The place I work at is always at least 95% occupied. We provide really good care to our residents (and their family members). The management is fair and reasonable. But we make just above a poverty wage, depending on how many people are in our households.

If my husband didn't earn any money, we'd be screwed. A lot of my coworkers also clean houses or do one-on-one care as a second job.

I don't know what the solution is here. Obviously individual families can't afford to pay more rent for their loved ones. Medicare subsidizes some of our residents, but some are private pay.

I don't have a solution for the whole system, but for myself, it's to get my ass back in school. I have a BA in Psychology, but found that I really don't enjoy the type of work in that field that a BA qualifies me for - it's direct care with very difficult populations. Tried it out, hated it, was unhappy, and fled to childcare instead. Then we relocated and I started working with seniors and have really enjoyed that.

I recently found out that I can do an advanced baccalaureate program to convert my BA into a BSN in just 5 quarters. As long as I complete my prereqs at community college first and get good grades in those. HALLELUJAH! My backup plan will still be to go to a technical college and get my LPN, but for almost the same amount of time, I could get my BSN (Bachelor of Science in Nursing) and be qualified to be an RN.

So that's my big goal of 2011. Get into school. Take my prereqs that I'm missing (microbiology, anatomy and physiology with lab, etc.). Because as much as I love my job and the people I care for there, I don't want to get stuck being broke forever.

So I won't.