#1 of 64

Sometimes I feel at a loss for what to post here - I can't always share what's happening at work, and I rarely share what's going on in my personal life. So I bust out the blog topic challenges!

And this one's a doozy - 64 topics. I'm not trying to do a new one daily, though. That would be insane, with how work and school is going this quarter. But I do plan to get through all of them!

So, Topic #1: Introduce yourself with a recent picture and 15 interesting facts

Sorry dudes, no pictures of me on here. That might mess with my whole anonymous vibe.

And 15 interesting facts about me...

1. I love ballet and do DVD's of it at home.

2. My Mam-Maw could really turn a phrase, and said that when she was younger, she wouldn't have touched my Pap-Paw "if he'd'a been on an ice cream stick". She later changed her mind and married him.

3. I can turn a phrase too. Especially when I blurt out things without thinking first. I referred to a winter hat with ear-covers as having "Fudd Flaps" which Mr. Polly was delighted by.

4. I want to like gardening, but I suspect I secretly hate it. That's so awful of me! Maybe I'd feel differently if I had a yard?

5. If I were a character in Alice in Wonderland, I would want to be the Caterpillar, but suspect I might end up being one of the cards.

6. I'm jealous of Bill Nighy's strut and swagger.

7. I call Bill Nighy's character in Pirates of the Carribean "Tentacle Bill".

8. I'm afraid of depths (like in the ocean) and of very large aquariums, but not for the same reasons.

9. When I'm tired, I develop a southern slurred speech pattern that my friend described as sounding like Adam Sandler in "The Waterboy". I haven't seen that movie but I'm pretty sure I ought to be insulted by that.

10. I get nervous and inappropriate around religious clergy of all stripes and am pretty sure I weirded out this chaplain intern that was at my hospital this week. And I outed myself as an atheist too. And I blushed so much that he either thinks I'm in love with him or I have rosacea.

11. Sometimes I'd rather change someone's diaper than have to talk to them. This is more about whether I'm feeling chatty and less about my love of diaper changing. Sometimes I really hate talking to people.

12. I loooooooooooooove Thumbelina, the world's smallest horse! I daydream about sewing us matching pajamas.

13. I interned at a couple of juvenile detention centers back in the day, which left me with a lasting fascination with prison culture.

14. I have a never-ending crush on John Goodman.

15. Little Women is probably my favorite book of all time. Or at least right up there. You can get me to cry by talking about Beth and Marmee pretty much any time.

Vasovagal EXTRAVAGANZA!

We had a new nurse on 2nd shift tonight, so all us aides were trying really hard to be helpful, make sure she knew who each resident was so she wouldn't give them the wrong meds, tell her who to take seriously when they did/or said things and who to ignore and they'll stop.

But because she's new, she didn't know the difference between "Polly gently flagging down the charge nurse to come into a resident's room" and "Polly panicking and trying desperately to get your ass in here STAT but I can't leave this woman alone right now". So NewNurse wasn't as fast as I wanted. But it all turned out okay.

You see, there's a little thing called "vasovagal response" or, as you may learn to call it "fainting because you need to poop or are pooping".

This clip from Scrubs illustrates it very nicely:



Yep, it's a real thing. Pooping and fainting. What a combo.

There are a few of my old ladies that have this occasionally, but the one I was working on tonight had not ever done so since I've been working at the GreatRep. So you can see why I was alarmed when Nellie lay limp and unresponsive (but not dead! I checked that first!) in her wheelchair. I patted her hands with increasing force. Called her name with increasing volume. Patted her face. And then I brought out the big guns. Nellie HATES it when you touch her mouth or brush her teeth, and the absolute most annoying thing you can do to her is stick your fingers in her mouth. I popped on a glove and stuck a few in there, to and got no reaction, which is when I panicked and desperately waved NewNurse to come in NOW.

She also couldn't get Nellie to come to for a while, but after we both hollered and patted and pestered the hell out of her for a bit, Nellie cracked one eye open to glare at us, at which point I started breathing again. And got a whiff. And then a big, poo-shaped light bulb went off over my head. It spelled out VASOVAGAL in morse code. And Nellie woke up in time to have the biggest BM I've ever seen her have in my life. I mean softball sized, and round like one too.

Sheesh.

So my little poop-weasel is all right, and was back to normal within a few minutes of passing that beast.

And you know what? Seeing it didn't make me faint too. Whew!

PS Next weekend is my last weekend of clinicals which means I'll have a real live day off on St. Patrick's day! I cannot wait!