Thursday, August 18, 2011

Zip It (day 3)

Day 3: What's something you think of all the time but never say?

I wish I were a mother. I know I will be some day, and I know I'll be good at it. The kids I nannied for four years are good kids, and they still like to talk to me on the phone, ask their parents to drive them to my town to visit me, and write me little letters. I know I have the patience to deal with children all day every day, and I enjoy being around them. I know I can teach them to be considerate and to love learning.

It can be hard working in a nursing home, because the staff is 90% female, and there's always someone pregnant working there. Right now there are three. It can be hard hearing the same questions over and over again - "You've been married for 6 years and no kids yet?" or "How old are you? 29? And no kids so far? Do you not like them?". It's really hard when there's someone like "Calliope" who has 3 children at home and just lost her job for showing up at work high on meth.

I haven't always known I wanted to get married, or work in any particular field, or be vegan, or any of the other things I do right now. But I've always known I wanted to be a mother.

And I think about it often.

PS New readers - I do intend to have children some day, but it's complicated because Mr. Polly has Cystic Fibrosis. Google it if you're curious, or visit www.cff.org for more information.

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