Friday, June 17, 2011

How To Make Polly Mad

Here's some useful tips brought to you by people I dealt with today. Many were really good at pissing me off, so let's all learn from their expertise:

1. Management
Got a daycare resident with a very annoying specific fixation on another resident who gets combative and will kick doors for hours when you try to redirect him so he doesn't get punched by the object of his obsession? Move him in! Make sure not to have a plan in place to prevent problems so the whole joint can come to a grinding halt thanks to one person. Bonus points if they don't have orders for Ativan!

2. Coworkers
Keep saying "sorry!" and then grabbing my back and muffin top while I'm crouched down trying to put someone's stiff, heavy legs onto their wheelchair footrests. Not at all annoying go me or dangerous for my fingers. How did you know I was dying to be groped by a woman 15 years my senior at 0715? My favorite morning activity! And yes, please put your sweaty head on me while I parcel out meds and ask "is it time to go home yet?" over and over.

3. Residents
Keep pretending to be nearly deaf so you think you have an excuse to scream at me and everyone else. We'll never figure it out when you magically hear your name said in a normal tone of voice 10 feet away. I love having you grab my arm, drag my poor head near yours, and having you yell "WHAT?!? SAY IT SO I CAN HEAR YA FOR GOD'S SAKE!!" over and over.

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