Saturday, May 26, 2012
Well folks, I blog about work and I used to wear scrubs and crocs to work. Hence the blog name. Now I wear scrubs and New Balance sneakers, but that's not quite as catchy plus I don't want to change my blog address.
So there you have it.
And the crocs I used to wear (due to white-only shoes rule) were hideous! Like this:
Friday, May 25, 2012
And this one's a doozy - 64 topics. I'm not trying to do a new one daily, though. That would be insane, with how work and school is going this quarter. But I do plan to get through all of them!
So, Topic #1: Introduce yourself with a recent picture and 15 interesting facts
And 15 interesting facts about me...
1. I love ballet and do DVD's of it at home.
2. My Mam-Maw could really turn a phrase, and said that when she was younger, she wouldn't have touched my Pap-Paw "if he'd'a been on an ice cream stick". She later changed her mind and married him.
3. I can turn a phrase too. Especially when I blurt out things without thinking first. I referred to a winter hat with ear-covers as having "Fudd Flaps" which Mr. Polly was delighted by.
4. I want to like gardening, but I suspect I secretly hate it. That's so awful of me! Maybe I'd feel differently if I had a yard?
5. If I were a character in Alice in Wonderland, I would want to be the Caterpillar, but suspect I might end up being one of the cards.
6. I'm jealous of Bill Nighy's strut and swagger.
7. I call Bill Nighy's character in Pirates of the Carribean "Tentacle Bill".
8. I'm afraid of depths (like in the ocean) and of very large aquariums, but not for the same reasons.
9. When I'm tired, I develop a southern slurred speech pattern that my friend described as sounding like Adam Sandler in "The Waterboy". I haven't seen that movie but I'm pretty sure I ought to be insulted by that.
10. I get nervous and inappropriate around religious clergy of all stripes and am pretty sure I weirded out this chaplain intern that was at my hospital this week. And I outed myself as an atheist too. And I blushed so much that he either thinks I'm in love with him or I have rosacea.
11. Sometimes I'd rather change someone's diaper than have to talk to them. This is more about whether I'm feeling chatty and less about my love of diaper changing. Sometimes I really hate talking to people.
12. I loooooooooooooove Thumbelina, the world's smallest horse! I daydream about sewing us matching pajamas.
13. I interned at a couple of juvenile detention centers back in the day, which left me with a lasting fascination with prison culture.
14. I have a never-ending crush on John Goodman.
15. Little Women is probably my favorite book of all time. Or at least right up there. You can get me to cry by talking about Beth and Marmee pretty much any time.
Monday, May 14, 2012
- March 25th: I feel genuinely excited to be about to clean my bathroom with lemon comet while I listen to an EMT podcast. 30 isn't too different from 29.
- March 26th: PT [physical therapy]asked me to come help push a guy's leg and then when I did it went kablooey and sprayed blood. And I didn't faint!
- April 7th: My shift is half over and very boring, I'm watching an old man watch baseball.
- April 8th: My confused elderly patient told me our relationship won't work if I don't stop lying to him & pretending we're at the hospital.
- April 15th: Hospital riddle: you're working a double and get a 1:1 for a confused impulsive fall risk old man. What word do you least want to hear him say when you walk into the room? ...My real answer (and what he said) = Vietnam. Other contenders?
- April 27th: What should I watch on VHS, crossroads or 3 men and a baby?
- April 29th: I'm still sick. Wheen I finally get better I have a new life goal: pinup girl gator wrestling queen. Seriously, I like Louisiana, waterproof makeup, alligators and crocodiles in general and I could dust off the fisticuffs.
- today: OMG I just got to cut off a patient's undies for the first time: today is AWESOME!!
Sunday, May 13, 2012
Patience was seriously a bad-ass. She was the oldest living person I've ever met, at several years past 100. She still walked, fed herself, and talked when she died. She was chronically cranky, hated to get up early in the mornings, so we always let her sleep in and woke her up after everyone else had eaten their breakfasts. She was known for her particular style of combativeness - Patience would grab your scrub top's neckline, haul you in, and scratch the bejesus out of you while she shrieked "ouch! Owww! Hurting me!!".
But that's not all Patience was, of course. She still had a great sense of humor, and often seemed aware that her increasing deafness was a good source of entertainment. One day, in the dining room, she incited a food fight with another resident, a man. When the med tech on duty approached her to redirect her, she said "Patience, you're such a rascal!" and Patience stared at her for a beat, then said "I'm such an asshole?!?" then laughed maniacally.
Patience would constantly sing in a low, grumbling monotone, similar to her speaking voice. Very old songs, like Springtime in the Rockies, or The Battle Hymn of the Republic. She'd also talk out loud, verbalizing her thoughts, which she may or may not have been aware she was doing. If you were walking by her and stopped to say hello, give her a kiss, or wave at her, she'd often mumble "that one smiled. That one smiled. That one was happy." in her repetitive, robotic voice.
My favorite ever moment with Patience was when I was trying to put her to bed one night. She was being very resistive to standing up, not wanting to leave her comfy couch in the living room and walk down to her room. Patience had never had children of her own, but was a devoted aunt whose nieces and nephews still visited her until the end of her life. So, trying a different approach, I said "Auntie Patience, I want to go to bed but I'm scared to walk there by myself. Will you take me?". She grudgingly pulled herself up with her walker and headed to her room with me. She used the bathroom, brushed her teeth, put on her nightgown, and then, to my surprise, plopped down on her coffee table! She leaned back, pointed at the bed, and said, in her deadpan way, "Go ahead. You sleep now, I'll watch you. You go to bed. I'm here." Just thinking about that is enough to make me cry.
It's not often that the staff at a nursing home really loves and adores a combative resident, but we all loved Patience. Who else would repeatedly strip in the common area, to the point we had to go plunk her in her room where the nudity was more appropriate? And then when we checked on her later, we found her wearing only panties and a bedsheet tied around her neck like Superman's cape, singing Take Me Out to the Ballgame!
So, Patience, you were a delight. I miss you already. And I know you would understand that it's with great affection that I share the following photo of what you reminded me of at the breakfast table every morning, since you never mellowed out enough to get your hair combed until you'd been up for a few hours.